Resolving fights quickly is beneficial

Posted by Puteri | 1/25/2008 03:47:00 PM | 0 comments »

CHICAGO (AFP) - A good fight with your spouse could be good for the health, a new study has found.

Couples who suppressed their anger have a mortality rate twice as high as those in which at least one partner stands up for themselves, according to the study which tracked 192 US couples for 17 years.

"When couples get together, one of their main jobs is reconciliation about conflict," said lead author Ernest Harburg, an emeritus professor with the University of Michigan.

"The key matter is, when the conflict happens, how do you resolve it?" he said.

"When you don't, if you bury your anger, and you brood on it and you resent the other person or the attacker, and you don't try to resolve the problem, then you're in trouble."

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Ok, ok, don't get ahead of yourself!! :-)

Fighting with your spouse is only helpful when you know how to resolve it! The keyword here is "resolve".

If you don't know how to resolve the conflict, then fights are only going to affect your health negatively. High blood pressure. Heart related diseases.

Some of us don't know how to resolve conflicts very well. So any kind of fight is not going to be very beneficial to our health.

But if there is open communication, without recriminations and finger pointing, leading to reconciliation, then a couple can enjoy the benefits of a fight. That means the stress of the fight has been removed.

Fights between married couples are part and parcel of married life, and the key is to learn to resolve any conflict quickly.