Complaining can make you feel worse

Posted by Puteri | 8/28/2007 01:07:00 PM | | 4 comments »

How often do you justify your complaining as "something you needed to get off your chest"? How often have you actually felt that the incessant griping actually made you feel worse instead of better?

I know that feeling very well! I even get sleepless nights because I would replay whatever caused me the angst in my mind.

Voicing your frustrations is a natural way of dealing with them — but watch out for when a conversation dissolves into a bitch session. Talking your problems to death can make you feel even worse.

A recent study found that teenage girls who vented to each other about their problems, from boy trouble to social slights, were more likely to develop depression and anxiety — and the same is likely true for adult women, says Amanda Rose, the author of the study.

“There’s a definite belief in our culture that talking about our problems makes you feel better,” says Rose, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Missouri, Columbia, whose research was published in the July issue of Developmental Psychology. “That’s true in moderation. ... It only becomes risky when it becomes excessive.”


Still, there’s an upside to all that complaining. Rose points out that in her findings, the girls who vented to each other also reported feeling closer to their friends. It can establish an instant bond because the listeners know the complainer trusts them enough to spill their emotions — and the complainer’s just grateful that someone is willing to listen.


  1. pat // 5:25 PM, August 28, 2007  

    aku tuk enda tau ringat sebarang...I've noticed before,enti aku kelalu pedih ati ke siko org,aku diau aja,tapi dalam ati nyumpah,and,dalam masa terdekat,tentu something will happen ngagai org yg aku sumpah...laki aku pun dah terkena sekali and I felt so bad...Nyak aku enggai have bad thoughts ngagai org agik,enggai ke nyadi kenyataan...Unless org nyak kelalu jaik enggau aku :) (maybe it's the mind control thingy)Menakutkan...

  2. Puteri // 5:57 PM, August 28, 2007  

    Wahhh, bisi kuasa luar biasa nuan! Heheh. Aku begedi ka ulah org selalu ngumbai org beli, bodoh bla bla, tapi nadai kala nyumpah org sakit or mati that sort of thing. Mina mutap aja.

  3. pat // 6:31 PM, August 28, 2007  

    enda nemu lah aku....maybe nyak coincidence aja kini?

    Laban aku tuk jenis suka mendam perasaan and always pray that God will balas org yg jai enggau aku...engka nyak kini kitai enda tau pray for bad things :P

  4. Puteri // 7:00 PM, August 28, 2007  

    Hope nya co-incidence aja. Anang pray for bad things to befall other people! Ko Jesus, if someone slaps your cheek, give him the other cheek too! Nah, nya patut example kitai.